3 Years

Hard to believe it has been 3 years. Oh how our lives would be different today if we were celebrating a 3 year old's birthday today. Crystal would probably have prepared a fancy cake. I would have got together some decorations. We would most likely have our whole family over tonight for burgers and cake just to celebrate the past 3 years and how wonderful this person coming into our lives has been. However, this is not the case today. 3 years later and we are still waiting for this celebration. 3 years later we still have not been able to have these birthday parties. 3 years later we are still here. 

3 years later we are stronger!

When Crystal and I both had the idea of writing a blog post today she decided that I should be the one to do it. Obviously because I am the better writer. There can't be any other reason I am sure. So I asked her, should I make it sad? Or should I make it not so sad? Her response was: "Um. I guess it is up to you. It doesn’t really have to be sad as I don’t think we are sad anymore… but it is really dependent upon what you are feeling." And so I thought about this. I thought about how 3 years ago was one of the worst days in my life, in our lives. And I thought. I thought about how this sadness that had overcome me would always be there. And I thought. And I came to the conclusion that I'm not sad. Sure it still sucks and it happened, sure I still think about it on a regular basis, sure there are still times where I wonder what our lives could have been like. But sadness? It just isn't there. 

Deck

New garden

In the past 3 years a lot has happened in our lives. Crystal dad was hospitalized and is in need of a kidney (we just found out last week that her mom is a perfect match so we are excited for that). Crystal and I have done a lot of work on our house, putting in a new fence last summer as well as a new deck. We've built patio furniture and a garden. We put in new sod in the back yard. We've celebrated weddings. We've camped.

Patio furniture

We continue to be involved with our softball team. I have changed jobs. We've been on numerous trips from Oregon to Seattle to Boston to Vancouver to Winnipeg (going to Winnipeg). We bought a new puppy. All these things we probably still would have done, we just would have had a small human with us through that journey.

Harley and Penny

3 years is a long time. The healing process took awhile. But we have come out of this with more understanding, more empathy, more love, more dogs, less money (well probably the same amount if we had a kid) and a lot more strength.

Crystal and I have started a whole new adoption journey this past weekend one that will be a challenge but with everything that has happened we are ready. This past weekend we started the training to adopt through the government foster system. This route comes with a whole new level of challenges and risks. But we are ready to take it on full steam ahead. We hope that this way may be a little quicker then the domestic route but who knows. All I know is when we get either call for a match we will be ready.

I don't want this blog post to come across as a feel sorry for us or as a our life has been shit for the past 3 years. Because it hasn't. I wan't people to look at Crystal and I and see the fun, the love, the growth, the new patio furniture and the strength that we possess now. We have, for that past 3 years, used the term cautiously optimistic. This may have been true then, but now I can say that I am optimistic again. This will happen for us, it may not be today, it may not be tomorrow but it will happen. And if it takes a long time that is ok cause I know we have a lot more projects that we can complete well at least 95% of them.

Until Next Time!